looking forward

Have you ever had a defining moment? A moment when you know that from that point on everything will be different. I have had several of those moments in my life:

my first day of school
the day my brother was hurt
the day we moved out of the only house i had ever known
my first day of college
my wedding day
rachel's wedding day
the day Harmony was born
and there are more...

Those moments are part of my DNA. They can never be taken away and they are specific only to me. They are imbedded in the finger print of Rebecca Johnson.

These past two years have been packed with these moments for me. These moments can be as small as a conversation, as hard as an argument, as sappy as a good cry, or even found in the excitement of hearing good news. I reflect often on these moments. But i fear that it has been TOO often lately.

so last night...i had another moment. I was standing in the kitchen doing dishes (i know...that is a profound thing in it's self...) and i had my ipod playing in the background and a song that i hadn't taken the time to really listen to came on. It is a song by Ricardo. The lyrics went like this

"I'll stop looking back. I'm moving ahead. The past is over"

later that night i was editing pictures and listening to music again and this song came on by the Rascal Flatts that said:

"I'm going to stop looking back and start moving on, learn how to face my fears. Love with all of my heart, make my mark, i want to leave something here. Go out on a ledge, without any net. That's what i want to be about. I want to be running when the sand runs out."

very next song...another Rascal Flats song... (love them...)

"I'm moving on, at last i can see life has been patiently waiting for me. And i know there's no guarentee's, but i'm not alone."

My moment is wrapped up in those two songs. I'm going to begin looking forward more than i look back. I want to set goals for my life. I want to try to see the big picture. I don't want to miss out on my todays...

Does that mean i am going to forget the past. Of course not. That would be stripping me of who i am today. But i need to stop letting those moments dictate my present or else my future could suffer. I am determined to live the best life possible. Have the best marriage possible. Be the best mom possible (no, i'm not pregnant). Be the best teacher possible. Be the best worshipper possible. I want to leave a legacy. Have no regrets.

The past is just that....the past...