stream of consciousness

It's all the rage! Both Amy and Rachel have recently posted their "stream of consciousness" and I found them both quite to be quite enlightening, not to mention very raw and honest. I'm feeling in the mood to be just that.

Denis spoke a few months ago at church and gave a statistic that you can talk up to 1500 words a minute in your head. I have no doubt that there have been days where i have exceeded that statistic. I find that i can't seem to shut my brain off at night. I run through the happenings of the day, pick apart my decisions, think about my schedule for the next day. But all roads always lead to the same thing....being a mom. I think about what labor will be like. Will i be in labor long? How bad will it hurt? I think about what is the worst physical pain I have ever been in and i honestly cannot remember a time where i was in excruciating physical pain. So basically i have nothing to compare it to. That makes me freak out just a tad... I am not good at handling pain. Emotional or physical. so....labor should be interesting. I also lay awake thinking about what she will look like. From our last ultrasound, she looks just like her daddy. So now i think "I hope she has darker skin...i hope she doesn't stay creamy white like her mom but have these dominate black features. Will i be able to do her hair? Will it be straight like mine, or curly like Denis? I spend HOURS thinking about her. I usually don't mind being consumed with thoughts about her until my alarm goes off and i have had less than 4 hrs of sleep. That puts a damper on my day. Then i feel her kick and the world seems tolerable again.

I took my 3 hr glucose test today. The not eating part wasn't so bad cause i had in my head that i only have to go 12 hrs. Most of that time was spend sleeping anyway. Then i realized that not only did i have to go 12 hrs, but then i had to go 3 more hrs and the only thing i had in my stomach was sugar. By the 3rd hour i was incredibly light headed and very sleepy. I couldn't read, i couldn't look at my computer screen, i couldn't text anyone, my eyes just wouldn't focus. So i called my mom to pass the time, then i called Rachel to see if she would come and drive me back. Didn't think it was smart to get behind the wheel while feeling that way. More for Norah's sake than mine. Where did i go once the test was over? Marks Pizzeria. I downed a slice with a Mountain Dew. Lets pray i pass :)

I have my first baby shower this weekend. I am really excited about it! This shower is being thrown by my mother in law. She is so excited about being a grandmother. I really couldn't ask for better in laws. I simply adore them and i am so excited to be making them grandparents. My father in law has been a big pile of mush for about 8 months now. I think it is simply adorable. I am so thankful both sets of Norah's grandparents live so close. My Grammie and Poppie lived so far away growing up and that was always so hard. So i am glad Norah will have all 4 of them so close by.

Stretch marks have found themselves quite at home on my belly as of late. Only had two up until last week. That is definitely no longer the case. Might as well give all my bikini's to good will now.

I hate when Rachel keeps secrets. She and Christy are making me crazy. All their secret text and secret plans and secret code words are giving me high blood pressure. I figure the shower is really for Norah, so i promise not to tell her anything. Deal?

We have birthing classes on Thursday nights. The other day denis and i were discussing "the big day" and i told him i think i want him to sit behind me while i push. That way he can help me with my back support and plus it would be nice to lean back on him when i'm not pushing. Also, that keeps him a good distance away from what is happening "down there" which is what he prefers. So we discussed this option and he decided it would be incredibly sensitive to say "But won't i get hot and uncomfortable back there?" Really?!?!?!? HE is worried about being hot and uncomfortable. I just stared at him. There was nothing to say in that moment. Pretty sure everything i could say was already written all over my face. Don't worry dear, I'll get you ice chips if you get hot.

Now that i have bashed him, i must say that he is quite the dad already. He has been a very involved dad and husband for this entire pregnancy. He researched everything before we registered. He is the one who gets the emails from "what to expect.com" and he has helped make every decision about how her room will look, who our doctor will be, what hospital we would deliver at, and he also keeps asking me to take maternity pictures. He talks to Norah all the time now. When i get out of bed he says "good morning" and i say "good morning babe" and he'll say " i wasn't talking to you." I am always reminding him that he loved me first and that i will always be his first baby girl. I love that man so much. I can't wait until the moment Norah is placed in his arms. A memory i'm sure i will always keep close.

John Keller might be the most ridiculous Facebook user ever. When i'm on the computer denis always asks "what are you smiling at" My answer is almost always "john." Denis finds great amusement in his status updates as well. We often find ourselves asking "did you see what john wrote?" Absolute entertainment.

Harmony thinks my daughter's name is Dora. And apparently boots is up in there somewhere too. I joke that when Harmony meets her for the first time she will say "HOLA!" I love that little girl so much.

7 1/2 weeks to go. No turning back now. Not that i want to :) I can't wait to kiss my sweet girls face.