Love This

I am so grateful that our Big God never gave up on us.

"You will remain after that day has gone and things of earth have passed. Everlasting God"- Ross Parsley

Let them be little

"I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand. Felt so good in it, no bigger than a minute. How it amazes me how your changing with every blink. Faster than a flower blooms, they grow up all to soon....

Let them be little, cause they're only that way for a while. Give them home, give them praise, give them love everyday. Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle. Let them be little."

I've never felt so much in one little tender touch. I live for those kisses, prayers and your wishes. Now your teaching me things only a child things only a child can see. Every night while we're on our knees all we ask is please just...

Let them be little. Cause they're only that way for a while. Give them hope. Give them praise. Give them love everyday. Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle. Let them be little...

So innocent. Precious soul. You turn around, it's time to let them go...

So let them be little. Cause they're only that way for a while. Give them hope. Give them praise. Give them love everyday. Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle. Let them be little." -Lonestar

Norah,

You have give me the best 20 months of my life (9 inside of me). I know that our little family isn't perfect. We will never claim to be. But know that we love you so much. You are the joy of our lives. You make me laugh everyday. Every single day! I love your cuddles and kisses. I love being your mom. I tell you all the time that you are the best idea we ever had. Love you junie bug. I love watching you grow.

Love,

Mom

The Big Birthday Girl!

My Net

Definition of net:

Cords that are woven or knotted together

A barrier

To cover, protect or surround with

Remaining after all deductions.

These girls are my net.

We are woven together. Linked arm in arm as life rages forward.

Knotted. I'd dare say double knotted :) Secure.

After the storms of life hit my life like an unexpected hurricane, these girls are the barriers that keep the water out.

They cover me in prayer.

They protect my heart.

They surround me with

laughter.

After I've been left in the dust. Alone. Abandoned. Betrayed. They remain. Always

My net. For life.

stream of consciousness

I wrote a blog called "Stream of Consciousness" about this time last year. It is a blog that I really enjoyed writing because all I did was just... write. I wrote whatever I was thinking at that moment. I went back and re-read it to see what I had to say then. I had to chuckle as I wrote about the birth of Norah. I was so worried and gave way to much attention to my fear of labor. I guess the unknown can be scary, but boy was I really scared. Apparently I am tougher than I thought! I also laughed as I described what I hoped Norah would look like. I said... and I quote..."I hope she doesn't come out with pale skin with predominately black features." Boy am I shallow and boy does God have a sense of humor. But I could never have dreamed she would be as beautiful as she is... and boy is she... in my opinion at least.

So a year has gone by and quietly sleeping in the next room is my 11 month old daughter. I know every mother at some point in time asks "how did they grow up so fast?" I ask myself that question everyday. She is my little explorer. She is into everything. She has her own opinion. She throws tantrums, wrestles with kids smaller than her (and sometimes bigger). She "talks" all the time. "Sings" along with music. Claps her hands when she hears her favorite song "The Hog Dog Song" from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She is a walking maniac. Can climb up stairs. She HATES her diaper being changed. She LOVES her cousin Harmony. Seriously... they are best friends. Denis and I were up late last night and we watched the clock turn 1:02. Denis whispered "Happy 11 month Norah." I seriously almost lost it. I told Denis and I am going to be a wreck when she turns one. He responded by saying "Don't do that..." Guess he doesn't like when I am a wreck. oooooooohhhhh welllllllll!

Denis and I just celebrated our 8 year anniversary in December and 10 years of togetherness in January. The loudest lesson I have learned in these past 10 years... relationships are hard work. Not just my relationship with Denis, but in every area of life. Life changes at such a rapid rate and everyone moves along at their own pace. So sometimes I feel like I have to keep up with those who are moving faster than I am, while other times I feel like I am leaving people behind. No one is going at the "right" or "wrong" pace. Just different. I have been overwhelmed with the feelings of trying to change what needs to change and keep the same what "needs" to say the same. And by "needs" I really mean want. What I WANT to say the same... but I find that is almost impossible to control. The sun rises and sets each day. The world keeps on turning at the most predictable pace, yet I have days where I feel life is moving to quick, and other days where life crawls by. Life changes. Jobs change. People get married. Some move away. Others have children and some people just...change. It is all quite difficult to balance. I have found that I stink at it.... But what I have learned to do each night is when the light goes out, in those moments of quiet before I fall asleep, I ask myself: "What did I do to be better today? A better wife. A better mom. A better co-worker. A better boss. Did I go forward or backwards or did I just stay where I was. Some days I don't like the answers to those questions, other days I do. Regardless, I am glad that I am at least I'm asking.

Sometimes I hate social networks. Facebook sometimes makes me insecure. Twitter at times makes me feel like I need to have everything right with my life in order to make a difference. Having a smart phone only adds fuel to the voices in my head that are telling me I need the accolades of others to have a reason to get out of bed each morning. On the other hand I enjoy the community it brings. The ability to connect with people I wouldn't have without it. I enjoy reading what other people are up to, I always love a good laugh and a quick stroll through my news feed usually does that for me. But these days I have found myself avoiding them in the hopes that I can find a balance between my love and hate for them.

I am currently obsessed with Raspberry Sherbet. I have a bowl almost every night before I go to bed. LOVE it! (and it is better than the Oreo phase I just went through)...

My current CD of choice: Be Lifted High from Bethel. The song "God I look to You" has been my sanity this week.

This coming Wednesday I get to spend the evening with 4 of my favorite ladies on this earth. I am so excited I can't even stand it. Craft night/dinner/Birthday Celebration with Amy, Ashley, Carrie and Rachel. It can't get here soon enough.

There is something so right in my world when my parents are in town. They are currently asleep downstairs in my living room and I love that I get to wake up tomorrow and spend the day with them.

Playing on my TV right now is the movie "The Proposal." I seem to have forgotten just how hilarious this movie is. "Congratulations...I'm a hundred"

Now... I'm going to sleep. And tonight in that quiet moment between waking a sleeping I will ask myself "What did I do to be better today?" I can boldly say I was a better wife because Denis and I took the time to go out to dinner and a movie together. Just us. It was wonderful. And I can say I was a better mother to Norah for the same exact reason. Because I heard someone say once "Your best years of Parenting will come from your best years of Marriage." Determined to show Norah that her Mommy and Daddy love each other very much.

Blessings

The song blessings by Laura Story has become my anthem. I am learning to understand that life isn't about finding happiness. It isn't about having a lot of friends or having everyone like you. Life is about finding God in the small things. Its about seeking God even when He seems hard to find. It is about loving when the butterflies are gone. It is about letting God change you and mold you into His likeness. Sometimes he does that through our pain. Through our tears. Through our joys and successes. When Jason Upton was as our church he said something that really stuck with me. He said that it is easier for us to believe that God has abandoned us rather than believe He is right there with us in our pain. How true that is... Today at our saturday morning prayer, Chris Folwell encouraged us to press past the awkwardness of our "issues" with God. Sometimes when I pray I tend to ignore the "elephant in the room." The thing I don't address with God because I know that what I feel isn't true...but i feel it anyway. That he let me down... that there are certain things in my life I feel like I can't trust him with. But lets be honest. He can't let me down. He is the most trustworthy of them all... but yet i feel these things and they hinder my growth. Chris compared it to going out to dinner with our spouse and finding you have nothing to say. Or sitting down with someone we love knowing that the conversation to come is going to be really hard. I find it easier to ignore God when I am angry with him (which as said before... sometimes I am...) because I think it will get his attention and he will just "fix" everything. Maybe someday I will learn that God allows things to happen in my life that are outside of what I find acceptable so He can reveal to me a different piece of his character. My favorite line of this song says this:

What if my greatest disappointments, Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy.
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise.

What if: it is the lingering question. the great debate. But trust is a choice. God has never asked me to trust everyone. But he has asked me to trust him. "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track." Proverbs 3:5-6 (The Message)

"what if trials in this life are his mercies in disguise"

Here are all the lyrics of this song. If you haven't heard it yet, you tube it. You won't be disappointed.

Blessings by Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

I want to be Thankful

I have been learning about the impact two little words can make...

Thank-You.

Two words that can make someone feel special. Feel included. Feel wanted. Feel appreciated. I believe that if we start using these words more often, (to our children, to our spouse, to our friends, to our co-workers, to our employee's, to our boss, to the person who holds the door open at the store, or to the friend who gives you an unexpected gift or complement), we will open up to the door to allow God to form our heart into one that bleeds gratitude. We will find that we complain much less and love a lot more. Life is too short to live it being ungrateful for what we have and who we have in our life.

Thank-you.

Thank you Mom and Dad for dedicating your lives to your family and to your church. You are two of the hardest working human beings I know and I am incredibly honored to call you "mine"

Thank you Denis for picking me. For being in love with Jesus first and me second. Thank you for being the greatest husband and dad on earth. Norah and I are crazy about you.

Thank you to my friends who have never given up on me. Thank you for your unconditional love and support...for being there when I fall and not labeling me as a failure. But instead you get down in the dirt with me to encourage me and walk with me when I finally found the courage to stand again.

Thank you to all the beautiful people that work in the After School Program at Pearce. You make it a JOY to be at work. I think we have the best job on earth. Thank you for all your hard work and dedication. You are the greatest group of people and I am honored to lead you.

Thank you to my church for all your love and support. You are my family. Thank you for accepting me for who I am and for being some of my greatest cheerleaders. Made to Belong :)

I am thankful to be a daughter of the King. He is my rock, my shield, and my portion. I never want a day to go by where I forget to say Thank You to the Lord. Whether it is in a whispered prayer or a loud declaration. It's not enough to assume He knows. He longs to be told.

"it won't be like this for long"

My sweet little lady is 9 months old... she has officially lived longer outside of me than inside of me. I find it hard to remember what it was like having her grow inside of me.... feeling her kicks as I fell asleep...longing for dr.'s appointments so I could hear that precious sound of her heart beating. I try to remember, but most of the time I can't. So I am going to try harder to write everyday down :) To document the things that happen as she grows into this beautiful, spunky child of mine. I haven't written an update in a while so here is just a little bit of what life is like with Norah.

In case you didn't see Rachel's blog post about Norah: (http://fotogirl14.blogspot.com/2011/02/norah-kathleen.html)

She posted a few of her 9 month pictures along with her nicknames (minus sputnick...no one REALLY calls her that...we just tease her about her huge noggin. :)

Her nicknames include: Junie Bug ( really any variation of bug: love bug, bugaboo, beetle bug, or bugga), Norah Beaner (given to her by her daycare teachers), Booper, Katie Girl (given to her by my daddy) and Norah Kate (the only nickname denis ever uses... he's big on calling her by her actual name!)

What she's up to:

Crawling like a maniac. She has been crawling since she was 6 months old. She always wants to be on the move.

Walking along furniture/around her play table/pushing her shopping cart. She does circles around her table touching all the buttons as she circles around, dancing at each new song.

Stands for about 10 seconds on her own. Usually only when she doesn't know she is doing it. She's like Grace, there is no practicing. It is all on her own terms. She has her own opinions that she is making quite clear these days.

Sleeping through the night. She started dabbling at sleeping all night at about 12 weeks, then stopped for a bit and started again at 4 months. She started by sleeping about 8 hr stretches and now sleeps from 11-13 hrs a night. We found that when we put her to bed earlier she sleeps longer. But it isn't always possible with the schedule we keep. Sometimes we keep her up just because we miss her. She doesn't sleep well at daycare so she has gotten in the habit of taking an evening nap. She falls asleep around 5 or 6 and sleeps till about 7-7:30. She wakes up (or is woken up) to eat, get a bath and goes right back down at 8. She is starting to sleep a bit more at daycare so i hope that helps rid the evening nap. Days she is not at daycare, she takes 2 super naps and no evening nap.

She is growing at a pretty average rate. Her percentiles are in the 60's, except her head :) (that is in the 80's) but we love her big head of curls :)

She loves to play on her own. She has a basket of toys she plays with, but she prefers daddy's books and cd cases or a plastic cup or bottle. She loves to take her toys and crawl into the kitchen and bang her toys on the hard floor. She loves the sound it makes. She also loves crawling under the table and standing up in the middle of all the chairs. Then she plays the chairs like a drum. We have one chair that is metal. She prefers that one :)

She loves her food! She is still eating some baby food each day. I like her to eat her cereal for breakfast still. She eats table food for lunch and dinner. Some of her favorites are: pizza, chicken nuggets, ham, hot dogs, toast with peanut butter, CHEESE, pasta, and fruit cups. She definitely prefers feeding herself rather than being fed. I have a feeling she will be only only table food here soon. She is still on soy formula, but we have given her cheese and yogurt with dairy in it and so far so good. We will have her tested for a dairy allergy at her 1 year appointment. Hoping to be able to make a smooth switch back over to regular milk.

She is still a cuddle bug. I love that she will still fall asleep in my arms. Every sunday I come home, scoop her up and cuddle her while we both sleep. Sometimes she will sleep in my arms for more than 3 hrs. It is most beneficial when she is sick because she will sleep on the lounge chair with one of us. She just seems to sleep better than way when she is sick.

She loves music. She will "sing" and dance and clap along with the music. She gets quite excited. Her favorites: Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson! I'd like to say she loves listening to me sing, but normally it is what puts her to sleep. :)

She LOVES harmony. I know she is closer in age with Makaela, but I feel like Norah and Harmony are already best buds. But at the end of the day, I am just very thankful that she will grow up living near hear cousins. I hope they grow to be as close as sisters.

She is DADDY's little girl... If daddy is in the room, no one else matters. She says DaDa constantly as well. She squeals when he comes down the stairs. Cries at the door when he leaves. Crawls up on his lap when she is tired. She is just smitten with her dad. I think she gets it from me :)

She seems to do something new with each passing day. She makes us laugh so much. She brings so much joy to our home... the unspeakable kind. We pray that never changes. I never knew I could love like this. It overwhelms me almost daily. I must tell Denis everyday "I just love her so much..." :) The other day Denis told a friend of ours "What are we going to do when we have a normal kid someday?" Meaning Norah is just an incredible baby. We don't take it for granted either. God just seemed to know what our home needed. He knew what it was missing. It was missing Norah. Now that we have her, I don't remember much about life without her. We know our family isn't complete yet and we dream about our family growing. But for now, we are soaking in every moment with our sweet little lady. Loving our family of 3.

Write Everyday Down

Recently a recording artist by the name of Jason Upton came to our church for our One Thing conference. I was more than a little excited when I was told he was coming. I have been a fan of his for about 8 years now. He is an incredible worship leader and speaker and one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. During his worship concert he sang a song called "Write Everyday Down." He reminded us that we need to record our days so that the world would know that God was alive, even in times such as these. How often do we let a day go by where we don't see God in it? But there He is. In our every breath. We don't always reflect Him, but He is there.... there in it all.

This January was a very significant time in my life. I won't go into what has taken place in these past last month because 1) I am still trying to wade through it all and 2) well... it's not all to be shared. Sometimes God moves in our lives in such a beautiful way that i don't want to ruin it by letting others impose their opinions or their "that ain't nothing" kind of attitude. I don't expect everyone to understand how significant the laying down of my own yoke and taking up his really is or how it came to be. Like the hymn says "This is MY story, this is MY song." I am sure over the next month I will share some of what God has shown me. But other things I will keep between me and the Lord... and I think He is a great secret keeper.

January also marked 10 years of being with Denis. I took sometime one evening to write down our days. Now, there are many MANY other days that have made marks on our relationship. But again, some things are better left between Denis and I. But I did build a bit of a road map of our story together. I love the quote from Just Married that says: "You never see the hard days in a photo album, but those are the ones that get you from one happy snap shot to the next." Our story is still being written. And the most some of the most significant moments are the ones that cannot be captured by a camera. So I am determined to do better at writing down everyday. Because what doesn't seem significant today, may be pivotal to our tomorrow. Here are a few of my days over the past 10 years that have helped build my story. *i have done this to the BEST of my memory... forgive me if a few of the days may be a bit off*

Day 1- January 31^{st 2001}- Denis and I knew we had feelings for each other around Christmastime 2000, but there were some complications surrounding us that needed attention before we could become official. We spent the month of January praying, fasting and seeking the Lord about our relationship. On January 31, 2001 Denis drove 2 hours down to my parents house to ask them for permission to date me. I had no clue that this event took place until Denis picked me up from my dorm room and gave me an incredible diamond necklace. And even though it was our first official day of being “Denis and Becca” we, that night, promised each other our forever. We knew. We just knew. And we were right.

Day 293– November 20 2001 Day Denis proposed- Denis proposed to me at Spot Coffee in front of my sisters and some of my closest friends. It was completely unexpected because it was a GIRLS night out. He surprised me by showing up to coffee. After some small talk he told a story about the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. One he wanted to impact the kingdom of God with, one he wanted to have kids with, and one he wanted to grow old with. I don’t remember much of what he said because I was in tears. He gave me a dozen roses and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I said yes. J

Day 328 - December 25 2001our first Christmas together- I loved our first Christmas together! We took engagement pictures and scored big on the after Christmas sales in preparation for our Christmas wedding!

Day 486 – June 1 2002 Our first apartment- We were on the hunt for our first place since both of us were no longer at RWC. We found a quaint little place right near my job. He moved in right away with Larry! It was our first home together.

Day 689 - December 21 2002 Our wedding day- Best day of my life. We stood before our family and friends and promised forever. We are still walking out what “I DO” really means. It isn’t always easy, but I’d choose him over and over again.

Day 690-692 – December 22-24 2002 our honeymoon- We spent a few days in Toronto. That’s really all I care to say about our honeymoon.

Day 2065 - September 30 2006 Hired at TFH- The summer of 2006 changed the course of our lives. Denis and I were volunteering on and off through the summer helping out the worship leader at that time. One Saturday Pierre was leading worship and asked me last minute to lead a song for him. (otherwise known as the moment that changed everything). I have been leading worship ever since. We love being a part of the team at TFH. Honored to serve God and His people.

Day 2207-2211 – February 19-23 2007: Our fist big vacation: Cruise- Everything was changing so quickly. We were learning to live life in a totally different way. By the time January came around, we were very stressed and unsure of ourselves (well I was at least). So last minute Denis (and his brilliant self) drove down the street to the Travel Agency and next thing I know, we had a cruise booked for 2 weeks later! It was 5 days of absolute bliss. We left all our cares behind and soaked in the sun and relaxation.

Day 2477- November 20, 2007: Harmony was born: She was born into this world and I was instantly in love. They say there is something so special about the first. I know she isn’t MY first…. But she was the first baby that showed me a different piece of myself. The piece that hurts when she cried, when she was hurt or when she stuck out her little quivering lip, the piece that burst open when she laughed, or said my name for the first time… Her middle name says it all. Joy.

Day 2763 - September 1, 2008: Rach and Mike move to Rochester: I finally had my best friend back near me. My world was right and has been right ever since. I love living life with them. How did we ever live 4 hrs apart…

Day 2896– January 12, 2009: Our First: I had a dream on that Sunday night that I was pregnant. We were headed into our 21 days of fasting, so for piece of mind I took a pregnancy test. It was the first time I saw those 2 beautiful pink lines. I went running into the bedroom to tell Denis the news. We were floating.

Day 2830 – January 16, 2009: Heartache: We found out a few days later that we had lost the baby. I still think about ‘her’ everyday. I will remember and never forget. “We’ll just let Jesus hold you till Mom and Dad can hold you. You’ll just see heaven before we do…”

Day 3010 – May 10, 2009 Mothers day-Bittersweet: It was a difficult day to face. I was supposed to be 6 months pregnant. But at the end of a hard day, I hear a knock at the door. I was John and Amy. To make a long, emotional story short, they came bearing the greatest news… they were expecting. Suddenly my heartache became less achy.

Day 3079-3085– July 18-24, 2009: Missions trip to Mexico: A week I will never forget. I still go back and look at picture of those faces that stole my heart away. It was my first mission’s trip, and definitely not my last!

Day 3102- August 16, 2009: 2 lines in ’09: It was a Sunday. I was feeling so sick. After barely making it through church, I slept all afternoon only to wake up even sicker. Denis was out with friends and I asked if he would come home. On his way home he picked up soup, Gatorade and 6 pregnancy tests! I hesitantly took one, and again, saw those beautiful pink lines. I let my joy overshadow my fear and soaked in that moment. Norah was on her way…

Day 3147 – September 30, 2009: We saw our baby for the first time: There she was. Up on the TV screen. Little heart beating away quietly. She was alive. She was real. She was ours.

Day 3203– November 25, 2009 It’s a……: GIRL! She didn’t cooperate at first. We almost didn’t get to find out. But last minute our Tech told us the news. Girl. We were having a daughter. Not how we had planned it…. But better.

Day 3355- April 26, 2010: Norah Kathleen Johnson: Born into this world. I could never put into words the way I felt when I heard her cry for the first time…. The moment I saw her sweet face for the first time has been etched into my very soul. I will dedicate my life to showing her just how much Jesus loves her.

Day 3618- January 14, 2011: Mini Sisser: Makaela Reese was brought into this world by the bravest woman I know. Let the record show. C-Sections are not for wimps. My sister walked bravely into the OR and came out a beautiful mother of 2. I love this little girl. She looks just like her pretty mommy J

Day 3635 – January 31, 2011: 10 years of togetherness: I love being Mrs. Denis Johnson. We have had our share of heartaches. Our share of dark days, trials, and pain. But we have also shared thousands of laughs. Thousands of kisses. Denis has taught me to love. He has pointed me to Christ in times he didn’t have the answers. He has held me in my lowest points. He has celebrated me publicly. I am proud to bare his name and to have mothered his children. Love you babe. Here’s to Forever….

The stickers only stick if you let them.

Yesterday at our rlife gathering, a question was posed to everyone in our group. The questions was this:

What book, besides the bible, has impacted or influenced you the most?

The questions went around the group and I was the last one to answer. As everyone answered (answers included Purpose Driven Life, The Boyscout Handbook, Die Hard (jamie hall), Bait of Satan and Grace) I was unable to think of just one! I will admit, I am not a BIG reader and a majority of what I DO read is written by Nicholas Sparks, the books my husband has labeled "Devil Books" because they all make me cry. (apparently crying is of the devil!). But out of all the books I have read, I still couldn't narrow my favorite down to just one. So i decided to name them all! So here they are:
- Hinds Feet in High Places- by Hannah Hurdard
- You are Special- by Max Lucado
- The Shack- by William Young
- Secrets of the Secret Place- by Bob Sorge
I am unable to narrow this list down to THE one that has impacted me or influenced me the most. They all have helped me through some of the darkest parts of my life. Everyone spoke to a different part of my heart and my mind. Each of them revealed to me a different part of who God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are.

As I attempted sleep last night I kept thinking about each of these books. Letting myself be reminded once again of what I took away from each of them.

Hinds Feet in High Places: the story of Much-Afraid and her journey through life...her companions being Sorrow and Suffering and she faces places of Pride, Humility, Loneliness, Tribulation, Loss, and on into a place of Healing, Anointing and even getting a new name: Grace and Glory. It is a beautiful allegory of just hard life can sometimes be. But in the end, God's truth remains: He who began a good work is faithful to complete it.

The Shack: an incredible fiction novel that reveals the beautiful relationship between Man and God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit. This book isn't for everyone. I know many who have some trouble accepting this book, but this book was one written for someone like me. It stirred something in me as i read through this book in a matter of days. I have a hard time even putting into words what this book means to me. It taught me about my heavenly "papa" who allows things to happen in my life that aren't always what he has purposed for me, but he uses each and every tear and heartache to point back to his perfect grace and mercy, and best of all, his unconditional love.

Secrets of the Secret Place: I had the extreme privilege of meeting and spending time with the author of this book just days before Norah was born. It was one of those "pinch me i must be dreaming" kind of moments. Bog Sorge is an incredible man and author who's personal journey is one for the history books. This book brings to light the simple truth of where God dwells: The Secret Place. The place that isn't hard to find when you are looking for it. The place where each and everyone of us are invited to but not everyone chooses to go. It is made for the person who isn't necessarily a "reader." It is laid out in a lot of short chapters that can be read one at a time. I highly recommend it.

Last but not least... You are Special: This is a children's book written by Max Lucado that has changed the way I live and think. Every time i read it to my students I fight back tears. I would like to dwell on this book for a moment because this is the one that even now, is changing me.

It is a story about the Wemmicks. the Wemmicks are a group of wooden people who were all carved by the wood carver named Eli. Eli's house sits high up on the hill overlooking the village of the people he created. All they did all day long was give each other stars and dots. Those who looked pretty, could do fun tricks, or sing well all would receive stars. but those whose paint was chipped, said stupid things, or fell a lot were given dots.

One wemmick named Punchinello was given a lot of dots and he felt better when he hung out with other wemmicks with dots. But one day he met another wemmick that didn't have any dots or stars. Her name was Lucia. It's not that people didn't try to give her stickers, its just that the stickers didn't stick. Punchinello wanted to know why she didn't have any marks, and she said "I go and see Eli everyday." and she turned and walked away.

As he thought about this, he realized he didn't like all these marks that people had given him. He didn't want the other wemmicks to mark him with any more dots. So he decided that he was going to go and see Eli.

The next day he climbed the hill to Eli's workshop to visit with Eli. As he walked in, he realized just how small he felt next to the grand size of everything Eli's workshop, so he tried to quietly turn and leave. But then something happened. Eli called his name. He knew his name? Of course he did! He created him! "I've been waiting for you" Eli told him. "for me?" Punchinello asked. "why?" "Because I created you...and you are special"

Punchinello had a very difficult time believing that anyone would really care about him, let alone his maker. But Eli was there. He had been waiting. Eli bent over and picked Punchinello up and said "Looks like you have been given a lot of marks..." Punchinello then asked Eli about Lucia. "Why didn't she have any stars or dots?" The entire book had been leading up to this moment. This is what he said:

"The stickers only stick if you let them."

He went on to tell Punchinello that if he came to see him everyday that he would remind him of HIS love and what HE thought of him. At that moment, Punchinello looked up at Eli and something beautiful happened... Punchinello believed him. And as he turned to leave one of the dots he had been given fell to the ground.

Oh how the simplest of children's stories has set me free. I have come to a beautiful place in my life where I am no longer concerned with what other people think of me. How other people view me. How they view my marriage or my mothering. Because I have realized this: the stickers only stick if you let them. My relationship with my Maker, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with my sweet daughter is just that... mine. I am ok if others want to cast judgement or talk about me behind my back. That may sound harsh, but that is where life has taken me. I've been given a lot of bad marks. I am determined that star nor dot will effect the way I view myself because only one person's opinion matters. "Eli's." The name eli means "high." His thoughts are HIGHer than my thoughts (and the thoughts of others) His ways are HIGHer than my ways (or the ways others tell me I should think or live). His thoughts and his voice need to be the things that matter the most to me. In the past I have let my need to please other people come first. To be liked. To be popular. To have the most friends on facebook. To be preferred over another. It turns out that is not a healthy or fun way to live. So i am choosing to spend time with the Lord ever day. To let him tell me what HE thinks of me. What HE wants me to do. I know there are times when I will let other peoples opinions trump my makers. When those moments come, I pray i lean close enough into the arms of God to hear him say "you've been given a lot of marks...but they only stick if you let them."

Goodness and Mercy shall follow me....

"You don't need strength to let go of something. What you need is understanding" -Guy Finley



Before you continue reading I ask one simple thing: Don't judge me.



Last week something happened that made me question a lot. One event sent me on a emotional and mental spiral that I am still trying to pull myself out of.



I have always battled with fear. It is a flaw in my emotional makeup. But the moment I found out that I was going to be a mother, a whole new list of fears etched itself into my mind and worry made itself at home in my heart.



Fears such as:

will i lose this baby?

will there be something seriously wrong?

will labor be unbearable? :)

will my doctor be there to deliver?

will I go into labor while driving, or teaching, or God forbid while leading worship? ( this was my silliest and most selfish of the fears)



and the list went on. But April 26th came. Norah arrived. I didn't lose her. She was given a complete bill of health. Labor was...bearable... :) My doctor wasn't there, but she was born anyway! I went into labor in the safety and the quietness of my own home with my husband safely beside me and he was the greatest birthing coach the world has ever seen.



but the moment she was born, the previous list was erased and a new one quickly took it's place. This list was significantly longer and seemed much more urgent and in need of great attention.



what if she stops breathing?

what if she won't eat?

what if she is diagnosed with a fatal disease?

what if i drop her?

what if i lock her in the car and can't get her out?

what if i fall down the stairs while holding her?

what if i can't get her to stop crying?

what if someone takes her?

what if she doesn't like me?

what if I'm a bad mom?

what if? what if? WHAT IF?



they ring in my ear every second of the day! most of the time they are drowned out by Norah's laughter.... or cries :). other times they are silenced by Denis whispering in my ear "you're an incredible mom" Other times they just don't matter because life is asking me to live it and live it to it's fullest potential. Fear and worry are not meant to be life's companions.



but last week... i faced one of those fears. looked at it dead in the face and it paralyzed me.



I locked Norah in the car. I still don't know exactly HOW it happened...but it happened none the less.



I walked outside (of my house) with Norah, purse and diaper bag in tow, and I pulled out my keys and pressed the unlock button. I walked over the passenger side and pulled open the passenger door, threw my purse on the seat and the keys into the drivers seat. Then i shut the door. I then preceded to open up the door to the back seat, put Norah's bag on the floor and set her inside. Shut the door. I walked around to my door and pulled the handle. Locked. Tried the back seat. Locked. Panic. Walked around to Norah's door. Locked. Passenger side.... locked. Paralyzed. Then I heard the screams. Not from Norah...they were my own. "no...no...no..no" after the shock wore off I turned and ran back into the house. I was sobbing. Denis jumped up from the couch (the fastest I've ever seen him move) and looked at me waiting for an explanation of my panic. "she's in the car. she's locked in the car. i can't get her out of the car!" He took a deep breath, found his key to my car, gave it to me and I ran out to the car to unlock the door. Norah was peacefully chewing on her blanket as her mother was losing her mind. As soon as the door was locked my dam of emotions broke. I cried like i don't ever remember crying before. Denis held me and calmly reminded me that we were all ok. Norah was ok.



Once I wiped away my tears and took a million deep breaths, I assured Denis I was able to drive and that I needed to go.

On that drive I was immediately transported back a few months to a conversation i had with some of my favorite ladies. My Amy (yes I said my Amy...she's mine) :) and i were walking down Park Ave. on our way to grab coffee with my Carrie and my Ashley :). She was telling me about a post that Bethany Chase had written on her blog of when she too went through a traumatic event as a mother. I remember the girls and I having a conversation about what we would do if tragedy struck our family. What if something happened to our babies? What if something happened to our husbands? Where would that leave the status of our hearts towards our Maker? It was after remembering that conversation that right there in my car, with Norah still peacefully unaware of my fear-come-reality moment, that I started giving God ultimatums. "If you take Norah from me then I'll.... If you take Denis from me then I'll.... If you take my parents or siblings from me then I'll...." I was never able to finish any of those sentences... but I felt like I was getting my point across. "God...You know I would be unable to go on living if you ever took one of them from me." Then right there, I felt the slightest yet most urgent nudge from the Lord reminding me of this one thing. "They don't belong to you."

This silenced me.

It isn't my job to protect Norah. It is my job to trust in the One who can. And I will gladly be His hands and feet in order to successfully keep Norah safe while we live life side by side.

God NEVER promised me that He wouldn't give me more than I can handle. But He did promise that Goodness and Mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. I will rest in that and pray that this, above all, will silence my fears and replace them with peace.

I know I am not perfect. I am hopelessly flawed. But I will remain constantly aware that the name of the Lord is a strong tower...the righteous run into it...and they are safe.

oh... and i will also remain constantly aware of where my keys are :)

Growing up so fast

I am unable to stop taking this little girls picture.... I think one of these days Denis is going to hide my camera so I can give this little girl a break. Here are just a few of the pictures I took tonight...just for fun :)

The Life of Norah

Norah Kathleen Johnson

Born on April 26, 2010 at 1:02 am. She weighed 7.1 lbs and measured 20.5 inches. In a matter of moments, our family was complete (for now....). She was perfect. Captured our hearts with just one look.

Bringing her home from the hospital was one of the scariest moments of my life. What if something happened...what if i couldn't do it...what if...what if...WHAT IF!? I soon decided to stop worrying about what COULD happen, and take things a day at a time... sometimes even just a moment at a time.

Soon we found our rhythm. We had a few rough patches though. She dealt with bad trapped gas for a few days, as well as getting her days and nights mixed up. Once we made it through past those few hurdles, she became a content and happy baby. (she still doesn't like to poop. it makes her real mad!)

It is hard to ever put into words just how deep of a love you have for your very own. I've heard it said that having a child is like having your heart outside of your chest... and that is exactly how being a mother feels. This tender, fragile, vital piece of you suddenly exposed to the scariness of this world. Everything i do, i do differently... Everything i feel, I feel differently. Suddenly life is lived in a drastically different way. Suddenly things that mattered before, don't matter as much.

I have even found that my love for Denis is so different. I feel like the moment that Norah was born that a piece of our hearts opened up. A piece that had been locked up and saved for that very moment. And suddenly there was a piece of him that I could fall in love with that no one had ever had the chance to love. It was one of the most intense feelings i have ever felt. It was like falling in love all over again.

Harmony is now not just my niece... she is my daughter's cousin. I love the way she asks to see her and to hold her and to "make her happy." She is so curious about this little person, yet doesn't understand why she can't get up and play on the playground with her. She is going to make a FANTASTIC big sister because she is already the greatest cousin.

Her personality is already starting to show. She is so expressive and already seems to want to grow up so fast. She is holding up her head so well and is my little mover and grover! if she is awake, she is moving! I'm so not ready for her to be mobile!

I hate to say it, but she is daddy's little girl. When she hears his voice, she immediately stops what she is doing (which isn't much...either eating or playing) and tries to locate his voice. She loves when he tickles her with his hair or kisses her cheeks. I too stop what I am doing to watch their interactions. I've been dreaming of these moments for so long that I want to soak in every moment. I've heard that go by so quickly.

We now wake up to her giggles in the morning. She lays in her crib and just laughs at herself. She usually doesn't seem to be in any rush to be taken out. But it is so hard not to! I go in there and scoop her up and snuggle her. Mornings are my favorite with her. I am going to miss them when i go back to working early mornings.

My baby girl is almost 10 weeks old. Just one year ago she was a prayer in my heart, and now she is my heart. I love you Norah. Mommy loves you so much....

FAQ's

*insert apology for it taking me this long to blog again...i've been a little busy :)

Now that that's out of the way

It is so strange to read my last post seeing how it was only hours after that i went into labor! Crazy. seriously crazy looking back and reading how my life was when i was pregnant. all the fears and anxiety i had leading up to labor suddenly seems to small and silly. i won't bore you all with all the details of my labor and how these last 8 weeks have treated me, instead i will post the answers to my most frequently asked questions and hope that gives you a snapshot to life with Norah "Kate".

How long was your labor?
- 49 hrs. (need i say more)

Did labor hurt?
- yes. yes it did.

Did you get drugs?
You bet i did. practically begged for them. wouldn't you after 40 hours of labor?

Did your epidural take?
yes, but only on my right side. i had to lay on my left side in order for the pain to subside. it was magical.

Did you deliver naturally or C-Section?
Naturally- pushed for just over 20 minutes. (she was apparently FINALLY in a rush to show her face. wished she had felt that way about 30 HOURS SOONER!) but i will admit, i did ask for a c-section because i was so scared to push.

Who was in the room?
Denis, my mom and my mother-in-law. Allison and Rachel joined us as soon as Norah arrived. It was perfect. Then soon after those that were waiting all night (thanks for sticking around friends!) came in to meet Norah. It was perfectly perfect. Only a few people i wish could have been there. I would have loved for John, Pierre, Marlize, Matt, Josh and my Dad to be there. Oh, and i wish my doctor could have delivered Norah. but he had a family emergency to tend to...so we'll forgive him :)

What was your first reaction when she was born?
i squealed like a little girl. i screamed "MY BABY! THAT'S MY BABY!" and pretty much begged them to let me see her. Then the first thing i said to her was: "Hi! you look just like your ultrasound picture!!!" (wish it was something a little bit more sentimental, but that's just what came blurting out!)

Do you love being a mom?
Yes. Absolutely. Best thing ever. i don't know how i ever lived life without her.... didn't think i could love THAT much so quickly. I devote my life to protecting her life and her heart.

Has it been hard?
yes. it has had it's really challenging moments. I echo Amy in saying that it draws out your deepest fears and insecurities. I constantly second guess myself and my parental decisions. I thought i knew how to be a mom...but boy was i wrong. everything you think you know goes out the door when it is your own child. Someone else's child crying doesn't bother me, but if my baby cries for even a second, it paralyzes me...but i will admit, it gets easier everyday.

What has been your favorite part about being a mom?
I don't think it is possible to choose a moment or a specific part. I love being a family of 3. Just when i thought i couldn't love my husband anymore, he became the father to my baby. It was like falling in love all over again. My heart would skip a beat when he pulled into the driveway. I love our cuddle time as a family. I love watching him hold her and kiss her and call her "woman" when she is demanding to eat NOW. I love the way she smiles at him and giggles when his hair tickles her skin. It's the little things i love the most...

Are you breast feeding?
I was. I did for the first 5 weeks before she went onto formula. Then we did both for a while. Now it is just formula. It's just what works for us. I miss it though.

Is she sleeping through the night?
She normally wakes only once in the middle of the night to eat, then again early morning. I take the middle of the night and denis takes the early morning shift. But i am excited to say that she slept for 8 HOURS STRAIGHT last night! Trying not to get my hopes up that it will keep happening that way, but it was exciting. But boy was she hungry this morning. She was letting out cries and yells like i had never heard while Denis was getting her bottle ready. I heard him walk into her room and say "woman, calm yourself down." i giggled to myself and then rolled over and went back to sleep. I have a great husband.

Is she a good baby?
The best :)

Are you back to work?
Yes. I went back to work on the 7th, but only part time. i don't start full time until next week. it has been a great way to transition slowly back to work. But i have missed it...i will admit that.

Where does Norah go while you are at work?
She goes right up stairs to daycare. I love that she is in the same building as me. I visit her often. More often then i think i should. and when i can't get up to visit her, i send mattie to check on her. i'm THAT mom. not ashamed of it either :)

Are you back to singing at church?
Yep and LOVING it. My mother in law watches her for the morning. She was been an incredible help! Very thankful for her.

Do you miss being pregnant?
desperately...may sound weird, but i just LOVED being pregnant. I get a little emotional when i see woman who are pregnant. On a side note, i can't WAIT until Rachel is about 8 month and i get to torture her the way she tortured me while i was pregnant. watch out rosie :)

When will you start trying to have another?
That's for Denis and I to decide :)

If i didn't answer any questions that you might have, go ahead and ask, i'll do my best to answer them.

Home Stretch

So here I am... in the home stretch. As each day passes and we get closer and closer to Norah's due date, I grow more and more excited to meet my daughter. I will be honest though, I grow more and more scared as well. Not just scared of labor and the pain it is sure to bring, but of the uncertainty of motherhood. I keep reminding myself that I only need to take things a day at a time. I also find extreme comfort in knowing that I am surrounded by people who love me and are ready to help me find my way though this brand new world I am about to enter. Denis and I are beyond excited to welcome Norah into the world. Even now as I type, i am sitting only an arms length away from her baby swing. I find myself just sitting next to it and daydreaming about her being snug inside taking in the world. Her nursery is finally finished and it is all I ever hoped it would be. When we first found out we were pregnant we looked at all the baby stores and just couldn't find a nursery style we both liked. So we decided that we would just take to designing our own! Before we even new she was a she we new exactly what colors we wanted: red, orange, yellow and green. If we had found out she was actually a he, we were going to decorate in stripes and dots, but for a girl we would do flowers. Soon after we knew we were carrying a girl I went to Pier 1 and found 3 flower paintings. I knew this is how i wanted to decorate her nursery. So we went from there. My mom and I chose all the fabric and chose a quilt design. This room would have never come together if it hadn't been for my mother. She made the quilt and the roman shades. I will be sure Norah knows just how much work her Grammie put into her first room. Rachel played a huge part in the nursery coming together as well. She and Mattie painted the room, and she was my master organizer! Here are just a few pictures of her room.

Tomorrow I am officially 40 weeks pregnant....April 24th is my official due date. I am 90% positive that I will see tomorrow come and go from the luxury of my own home :) But there is always hope that she will come right on time! I have LOVED being pregnant. I am really going to miss it... I love watching her move, and feeling her hiccups, and listening to hear heart beat. I know the last time that I wrote about my pregnancy I gave you an update on how my first two trimesters went. Here is a little snap shot at the last 10 weeks or so.
-This is me at 38 weeks. She has sat quite high my entire pregnancy...and much to my dismay is still doing so. Come on Norah, drop already!

Food Cravings:

- Apples and Cheese! It is my FAVORITE snack...and sometimes meal :)

- Ice. I find myself at night filling a glass with ice, adding a little bit of water... but really all i want is the ice. I know it is terrible for your teeth, but i just love it. I am pretty sure it drives Denis crazy when i do it, but he never says anything! :) So i will continue to feed my habit.

- Cheerios. I have Honey Nut Cheerios every morning. It is a wonderful way to start my day.

The Up side of this trimester:

- No more sucking in my gut :) plain and simple. Maybe other woman will understand this... maybe I'm just weird.

- Bath's. I guess i could have taken a bath anytime before now, but i never had an interest. Now i find myself NEEDING one every night. I told Denis i think it is all a mind game. But i just done care :)

- I love the way Denis cares for me. Sometimes he gets a little crazy on me, like when it is midnight and i am folding laundry and trying to clean. He gets quite stern with me and uses his daddy voice. Norah is in for it.

- Nesting! My house has never been so clean. I have cleaned floors on my hands and knees. My mom and sister graciously attacked my basement and turned a very scary place into a delightful space. Dishes are always done. Laundry is being kept up with. Floors are vacuumed. Closets are organized. It is a beautiful thing. Does this go away? I sort of hope it doesn't. I don't mind these cleaning urges at all... I guess i could just be better at cleaning if these nesting urges go away... we'll see how it goes. :)

- I love being a part of this miracle. I thank God everyday for choosing me to be Norah's mommy. I pray i never take it for granted.

- Being able to go through all this with Rachel. I missed so much of her pregnancy with Harmony. To be able to walk through these past 9 months with my best friend has been indescribable. I can't wait to spoil her as much as she has spoiled me. I pray Norah (Dora) and Harmony will be best friends too.

The "down" side of this Trimester:

- Being diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes... As if the tests aren't bad enough, the diet that follows is worse. I have had to give up Pizza, sweets, Mountain Dew, bread, pasta and juice. I have found the foods I can eat that don't effect my blood sugar too much, but eating those same foods over and over again gets pretty boring! I find myself needing to "cheat" every once and a while just to treat myself, but I still make sure that it isn't making my sugar go nuts. I think the worst part of it all is testing my blood sugar 4 times a day. It got real old real fast. I can't wait till i can stop pricking myself! Lame.

- I have always been a belly sleeper, so having this huge belly has become pretty inconvenient! I wake up each night with a lot of hip pain. I toss and turn all night trying to give my hips a rest. When I get out of bed each morning, it takes everything in me to be able to walk to the bathroom. But i am thankful that i haven't had any back pain or leg cramps. But I dream about the day i can lay on my stomach again!

- waiting. enough said.

Final Thoughts:

- As anxious as I am to meet my sweet girl (and to get labor over with), I have become completely content in knowing that the Lord knows. He knows the perfect day and the precise moment she will show her face. He has prepared me for this moment and will give me the grace to walk the journey it will take to get her here. At some point in time in this next week, Denis and I become a family of 3. Denis, Rebecca and Norah Johnson. Seeing it in writing is makes my heart leap.

Here's hoping that the next time i post, it is all things Norah Kathleen Johnson :)

stream of consciousness

It's all the rage! Both Amy and Rachel have recently posted their "stream of consciousness" and I found them both quite to be quite enlightening, not to mention very raw and honest. I'm feeling in the mood to be just that.

Denis spoke a few months ago at church and gave a statistic that you can talk up to 1500 words a minute in your head. I have no doubt that there have been days where i have exceeded that statistic. I find that i can't seem to shut my brain off at night. I run through the happenings of the day, pick apart my decisions, think about my schedule for the next day. But all roads always lead to the same thing....being a mom. I think about what labor will be like. Will i be in labor long? How bad will it hurt? I think about what is the worst physical pain I have ever been in and i honestly cannot remember a time where i was in excruciating physical pain. So basically i have nothing to compare it to. That makes me freak out just a tad... I am not good at handling pain. Emotional or physical. so....labor should be interesting. I also lay awake thinking about what she will look like. From our last ultrasound, she looks just like her daddy. So now i think "I hope she has darker skin...i hope she doesn't stay creamy white like her mom but have these dominate black features. Will i be able to do her hair? Will it be straight like mine, or curly like Denis? I spend HOURS thinking about her. I usually don't mind being consumed with thoughts about her until my alarm goes off and i have had less than 4 hrs of sleep. That puts a damper on my day. Then i feel her kick and the world seems tolerable again.

I took my 3 hr glucose test today. The not eating part wasn't so bad cause i had in my head that i only have to go 12 hrs. Most of that time was spend sleeping anyway. Then i realized that not only did i have to go 12 hrs, but then i had to go 3 more hrs and the only thing i had in my stomach was sugar. By the 3rd hour i was incredibly light headed and very sleepy. I couldn't read, i couldn't look at my computer screen, i couldn't text anyone, my eyes just wouldn't focus. So i called my mom to pass the time, then i called Rachel to see if she would come and drive me back. Didn't think it was smart to get behind the wheel while feeling that way. More for Norah's sake than mine. Where did i go once the test was over? Marks Pizzeria. I downed a slice with a Mountain Dew. Lets pray i pass :)

I have my first baby shower this weekend. I am really excited about it! This shower is being thrown by my mother in law. She is so excited about being a grandmother. I really couldn't ask for better in laws. I simply adore them and i am so excited to be making them grandparents. My father in law has been a big pile of mush for about 8 months now. I think it is simply adorable. I am so thankful both sets of Norah's grandparents live so close. My Grammie and Poppie lived so far away growing up and that was always so hard. So i am glad Norah will have all 4 of them so close by.

Stretch marks have found themselves quite at home on my belly as of late. Only had two up until last week. That is definitely no longer the case. Might as well give all my bikini's to good will now.

I hate when Rachel keeps secrets. She and Christy are making me crazy. All their secret text and secret plans and secret code words are giving me high blood pressure. I figure the shower is really for Norah, so i promise not to tell her anything. Deal?

We have birthing classes on Thursday nights. The other day denis and i were discussing "the big day" and i told him i think i want him to sit behind me while i push. That way he can help me with my back support and plus it would be nice to lean back on him when i'm not pushing. Also, that keeps him a good distance away from what is happening "down there" which is what he prefers. So we discussed this option and he decided it would be incredibly sensitive to say "But won't i get hot and uncomfortable back there?" Really?!?!?!? HE is worried about being hot and uncomfortable. I just stared at him. There was nothing to say in that moment. Pretty sure everything i could say was already written all over my face. Don't worry dear, I'll get you ice chips if you get hot.

Now that i have bashed him, i must say that he is quite the dad already. He has been a very involved dad and husband for this entire pregnancy. He researched everything before we registered. He is the one who gets the emails from "what to expect.com" and he has helped make every decision about how her room will look, who our doctor will be, what hospital we would deliver at, and he also keeps asking me to take maternity pictures. He talks to Norah all the time now. When i get out of bed he says "good morning" and i say "good morning babe" and he'll say " i wasn't talking to you." I am always reminding him that he loved me first and that i will always be his first baby girl. I love that man so much. I can't wait until the moment Norah is placed in his arms. A memory i'm sure i will always keep close.

John Keller might be the most ridiculous Facebook user ever. When i'm on the computer denis always asks "what are you smiling at" My answer is almost always "john." Denis finds great amusement in his status updates as well. We often find ourselves asking "did you see what john wrote?" Absolute entertainment.

Harmony thinks my daughter's name is Dora. And apparently boots is up in there somewhere too. I joke that when Harmony meets her for the first time she will say "HOLA!" I love that little girl so much.

7 1/2 weeks to go. No turning back now. Not that i want to :) I can't wait to kiss my sweet girls face.

Babymoon

Denis and I decided about a month ago that we needed one last trip away, just the two of us, before our family of 2 becomes a family of 3. We debated on going someplace warm or some place we had never been before (Boston being at the top of our list), but we decided that we would go some place we LOVE to visit. Skaneateles NY. We have gone there once a year for the past 3 years. We know our way around, we know what we like, and we know we won't know anyone! (well...this time we did, but that has never happened before).

Here is a little overview of our Babymoon:

Day One:

Monday we spent most of our day at home since we couldn't check into our room until 3. We spent a few hours cleaning the house from top to bottom. i am kinda OCD when it comes to coming back to a clean house after a vacation. So once the house was clean, we packed the car and with huge smiles on our face, we left for vacation. For the first few miles we kept turning to each other to say "we're on vacation!" We were just a tad bit excited to be away. Once we arrived we unpacked and ordered in dinner. We sat by the fire and ate, talked and laughed. I knew right then it was going to be a great week.

Day Two:

We "slept in" ( i used to be able to sleep till noon and not even bat an eyelash about it, now anything past 8 is sleeping in). We had decided before we arrived that we weren't going to plan anything. We were just going to do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted, even if that meant laying around in our room the entire day. This day we went to the coffee shop/bookstore that was just down the street. We had a great lunch then walked around the bookstore looking for a book denis wanted...no luck. We went back to our room, napped then woke up to go to our favorite restaurant, Rosalie's. It is an Italian place owned by the same people as Macaroni Grill. We eat here every time we are in town. It's that good. Afterwards we headed over to Mirbeau (a resort and spa) for our annual massages. I, of course, had a pre-natal massage. It was HEAVEN. For the first half and hour i was able to lay on my stomach. That was pampering enough for me! Another great day.

Day Three:

Slept in again :) We originally thought we would drive to Auburn to do some historical site seeing, but after being lazy all morning, we decided to just walk around Skaneateles to our "usual" spots. That evening we did drive to Auburn to see a movie. We really wanted to see Sherlock Homes, so we saw that Auburn had 2 theaters, we chose the theater based on the time of the show. So we headed out to the mall where the theater was. We got a little lost so we were about 5 min late for our show. We rushed in thinking we were only missing previews. We walked up to the ticket counter and asked for 2 tickets, to which she replied "sorry, we can't start the movie 5 minutes past the showtime." This really confused us, we didn't want her to start the movie over, we were ok with missing a little. Come to find out, no one showed up for the show so they wouldn't start it at all for us. So she told us we would have to go to the MoviePlex to catch the movie. We had time to drive there, so we ventured back out kinda disappointed that we were now seeing a really late show. But we figured we didn't have to get up for anything the next morning, so why not. Once we finally found the place, we walked up to the ticket counter and asked the young lady for 2 tickets. After paying we walked around the booth where the SAME girl tore our tickets. We walked up to the snack bar where the SAME girl served us our snacks...already a bit strange... then when we walked into our theater, we were the ONLY ones there. My first thought: this is where i am going to die. the only person who knows we are here is the girl at the counter(s). I looked over my shoulder the whole movie, even though eventually one other couple came in. I was still just a tad paranoid. But we lived :) PTL

Day Four:

Our last day in paradise. i took my final bath ( i took 7 total...loved our jacuzzi tub...) then we packed back up our car and drove back home. I fought a little bit of depression, but we had our ultrasound scheduled for 4:30, so that made things a little better! A friend of ours from church is an ultrasound tech and offered to give us an ultrasound anytime we wanted. We most definitely took her up on this offer so we could get one last peek at our little girl before we would be holding her! We were there for an hour and a half staring at her little face! BTW from the 3D pictures of her...she looks just like her daddy! Same nose and lips. Chubby little cheeks. Already has some hair. She is about 3 lbs and about 15 inches long. I couldn't get enough of her. We even have the whole thing on video. Our friend printed like 50 pictures of her! They say you have the most pictures of your first born. I am starting to believe that is very true. I love her so much. She is moving so much now. Sometimes it is slightly painful. But Denis said that even though at times it is uncomfortable for me or it may cause slight pain, that every time i tell him that she moved he thanks God. So keep movin' girlie. Mommy and Daddy LOVE you.

Day 5:

We had a doctors appointment in the AM, and found out that baby is doing great, but that i failed my glucose test with FLYING colors. So off to the three hour torture fest. BLAH. Pray i pass. I can't give up my white bread :) That afternoon we headed down to Corning to meet my big sister for dinner. We were playing at a Baptist Youth Retreat with Christopher Hopper down near her so we really wanted to see here since she was so close. Always love spending time with my family. Then off to the retreat center. What i loved the most about being there was being with the band. They are some of my favorite people to talk to, laugh with, and sing with. We spent all Saturday morning by the fire just talking about life. Getting parenting advise, joking around and snuggling with my future son-in-law (Judah Hopper).

I wouldn't even hesitate in saying that this was the best vacation we have ever taken. I am more in love with Denis now that i ever have been. I can't wait to share the rest of my life with him and norah (and with however many more children we are blessed with). I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. One day left of our vacation: Valentines Day. Perfect way to end a perfect week.

Here are a few pics from our trip.