Faithful God

These past few weeks have been some of the most challenging weeks of my 31 years of life... for reasons I'd rather not get into right now... But please...just take my word for it. My faith has been challenged and tested. Most nights I felt as though I was drowning in a sea of my own tears and emotions. I've had some very real and very honest conversations with the Lord. Some of those talks were long overdue. I can almost picture the Lord saying "I was wondering when you were going to include me on this." And He is quite justified in saying that. But you know what the best part of all this is... Nothing went unnoticed by my Heavenly Father. He listened to my tantrums. He caught all my tears. He never rolled His eyes at me (even though I deserved a good eye roll or two) or thought less of me. I am sure He was whispering calm to my storm but I was to stubborn to take the time to tune into those whispers. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. Too busy assuming I was alone.

I read a quote this week that said this:

The success of God’s plans are not dependent on my ability to execute them.

He will not be handcuffed by my failures or unleashed by my accomplishments. He is bigger than that.

-- Jon Acuff

I don't know about any of you, but I am eternally grateful that God is bigger. The knowledge that God is simply bigger is what propels me forward. I no longer have to feel like I am not good enough or that success only comes when I am recognized for it. No shiny medal or flowery speech will equate to the words "Well done my good and faithful servant." "I press towards the mark for the prize of the High Calling of God." (Phil 3:14). I press on. I am determined for the Lord to know that He can count on me. That I won't quit when the going gets tough.

Today I feel like my head has found the surface and I can breath again. Today has offered me hope. Today I don't feel so afraid. Today I don't feel so alone. Today is a new day. Today, like everyday, I have been assured that goodness and mercy are my companions. (It's just not everyday that I like to address that they are there...following me like the faithful companions they are.)

I was listening to a CD that a friend gave to me. The song "Faithful God" came on. I immediately recognized the song that was recorded by Gateway Church a few years ago, but it was a song I hadn't heard in a while. I let it play and as I listened to those familiar words I began to weep. Right there at my desk. Tears spilled out. Tears that brought such sweet relief. I want you to take a minute and read through the lyrics to this song...

Faithful God

By Gateway Worship

If I call, will You come
When I cry, do You hear
I believe every tear
Is caught up by a faithful God
So I will cry until You come
Cast my cares into Your arms
I can't see past this storm
But I'm counting on a faithful God

Faithful God
You hold my life secure
All my days are Yours
I believe
My God is like a fire defending me
Faithfully

I believe You still heal
And demons still bow
I'm convinced there is power
In trusting in a faithful God
So I will praise till You appear
And set Your foot upon this shore
I declare that every foe
Is subject to my faithful God

I know that You are mine
And I am Yours, I am Yours
I know Your faithfulness
It will endure, it will endure...

Here is a link to listen to it on YouTube. It is worth the 9:02 minutes it will take for you to listen to it... I promise.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WT1IwDO0Ml4&feature=related

I plan on letting this song sing over me again and again when those days come that I feel overwhelmed, alone, tired, afraid or defeated. Because the truth is "You hold my life secure. All my days are yours"