The Life of Norah

Norah Kathleen Johnson

Born on April 26, 2010 at 1:02 am. She weighed 7.1 lbs and measured 20.5 inches. In a matter of moments, our family was complete (for now....). She was perfect. Captured our hearts with just one look.

Bringing her home from the hospital was one of the scariest moments of my life. What if something happened...what if i couldn't do it...what if...what if...WHAT IF!? I soon decided to stop worrying about what COULD happen, and take things a day at a time... sometimes even just a moment at a time.

Soon we found our rhythm. We had a few rough patches though. She dealt with bad trapped gas for a few days, as well as getting her days and nights mixed up. Once we made it through past those few hurdles, she became a content and happy baby. (she still doesn't like to poop. it makes her real mad!)

It is hard to ever put into words just how deep of a love you have for your very own. I've heard it said that having a child is like having your heart outside of your chest... and that is exactly how being a mother feels. This tender, fragile, vital piece of you suddenly exposed to the scariness of this world. Everything i do, i do differently... Everything i feel, I feel differently. Suddenly life is lived in a drastically different way. Suddenly things that mattered before, don't matter as much.

I have even found that my love for Denis is so different. I feel like the moment that Norah was born that a piece of our hearts opened up. A piece that had been locked up and saved for that very moment. And suddenly there was a piece of him that I could fall in love with that no one had ever had the chance to love. It was one of the most intense feelings i have ever felt. It was like falling in love all over again.

Harmony is now not just my niece... she is my daughter's cousin. I love the way she asks to see her and to hold her and to "make her happy." She is so curious about this little person, yet doesn't understand why she can't get up and play on the playground with her. She is going to make a FANTASTIC big sister because she is already the greatest cousin.

Her personality is already starting to show. She is so expressive and already seems to want to grow up so fast. She is holding up her head so well and is my little mover and grover! if she is awake, she is moving! I'm so not ready for her to be mobile!

I hate to say it, but she is daddy's little girl. When she hears his voice, she immediately stops what she is doing (which isn't much...either eating or playing) and tries to locate his voice. She loves when he tickles her with his hair or kisses her cheeks. I too stop what I am doing to watch their interactions. I've been dreaming of these moments for so long that I want to soak in every moment. I've heard that go by so quickly.

We now wake up to her giggles in the morning. She lays in her crib and just laughs at herself. She usually doesn't seem to be in any rush to be taken out. But it is so hard not to! I go in there and scoop her up and snuggle her. Mornings are my favorite with her. I am going to miss them when i go back to working early mornings.

My baby girl is almost 10 weeks old. Just one year ago she was a prayer in my heart, and now she is my heart. I love you Norah. Mommy loves you so much....

FAQ's

*insert apology for it taking me this long to blog again...i've been a little busy :)

Now that that's out of the way

It is so strange to read my last post seeing how it was only hours after that i went into labor! Crazy. seriously crazy looking back and reading how my life was when i was pregnant. all the fears and anxiety i had leading up to labor suddenly seems to small and silly. i won't bore you all with all the details of my labor and how these last 8 weeks have treated me, instead i will post the answers to my most frequently asked questions and hope that gives you a snapshot to life with Norah "Kate".

How long was your labor?
- 49 hrs. (need i say more)

Did labor hurt?
- yes. yes it did.

Did you get drugs?
You bet i did. practically begged for them. wouldn't you after 40 hours of labor?

Did your epidural take?
yes, but only on my right side. i had to lay on my left side in order for the pain to subside. it was magical.

Did you deliver naturally or C-Section?
Naturally- pushed for just over 20 minutes. (she was apparently FINALLY in a rush to show her face. wished she had felt that way about 30 HOURS SOONER!) but i will admit, i did ask for a c-section because i was so scared to push.

Who was in the room?
Denis, my mom and my mother-in-law. Allison and Rachel joined us as soon as Norah arrived. It was perfect. Then soon after those that were waiting all night (thanks for sticking around friends!) came in to meet Norah. It was perfectly perfect. Only a few people i wish could have been there. I would have loved for John, Pierre, Marlize, Matt, Josh and my Dad to be there. Oh, and i wish my doctor could have delivered Norah. but he had a family emergency to tend to...so we'll forgive him :)

What was your first reaction when she was born?
i squealed like a little girl. i screamed "MY BABY! THAT'S MY BABY!" and pretty much begged them to let me see her. Then the first thing i said to her was: "Hi! you look just like your ultrasound picture!!!" (wish it was something a little bit more sentimental, but that's just what came blurting out!)

Do you love being a mom?
Yes. Absolutely. Best thing ever. i don't know how i ever lived life without her.... didn't think i could love THAT much so quickly. I devote my life to protecting her life and her heart.

Has it been hard?
yes. it has had it's really challenging moments. I echo Amy in saying that it draws out your deepest fears and insecurities. I constantly second guess myself and my parental decisions. I thought i knew how to be a mom...but boy was i wrong. everything you think you know goes out the door when it is your own child. Someone else's child crying doesn't bother me, but if my baby cries for even a second, it paralyzes me...but i will admit, it gets easier everyday.

What has been your favorite part about being a mom?
I don't think it is possible to choose a moment or a specific part. I love being a family of 3. Just when i thought i couldn't love my husband anymore, he became the father to my baby. It was like falling in love all over again. My heart would skip a beat when he pulled into the driveway. I love our cuddle time as a family. I love watching him hold her and kiss her and call her "woman" when she is demanding to eat NOW. I love the way she smiles at him and giggles when his hair tickles her skin. It's the little things i love the most...

Are you breast feeding?
I was. I did for the first 5 weeks before she went onto formula. Then we did both for a while. Now it is just formula. It's just what works for us. I miss it though.

Is she sleeping through the night?
She normally wakes only once in the middle of the night to eat, then again early morning. I take the middle of the night and denis takes the early morning shift. But i am excited to say that she slept for 8 HOURS STRAIGHT last night! Trying not to get my hopes up that it will keep happening that way, but it was exciting. But boy was she hungry this morning. She was letting out cries and yells like i had never heard while Denis was getting her bottle ready. I heard him walk into her room and say "woman, calm yourself down." i giggled to myself and then rolled over and went back to sleep. I have a great husband.

Is she a good baby?
The best :)

Are you back to work?
Yes. I went back to work on the 7th, but only part time. i don't start full time until next week. it has been a great way to transition slowly back to work. But i have missed it...i will admit that.

Where does Norah go while you are at work?
She goes right up stairs to daycare. I love that she is in the same building as me. I visit her often. More often then i think i should. and when i can't get up to visit her, i send mattie to check on her. i'm THAT mom. not ashamed of it either :)

Are you back to singing at church?
Yep and LOVING it. My mother in law watches her for the morning. She was been an incredible help! Very thankful for her.

Do you miss being pregnant?
desperately...may sound weird, but i just LOVED being pregnant. I get a little emotional when i see woman who are pregnant. On a side note, i can't WAIT until Rachel is about 8 month and i get to torture her the way she tortured me while i was pregnant. watch out rosie :)

When will you start trying to have another?
That's for Denis and I to decide :)

If i didn't answer any questions that you might have, go ahead and ask, i'll do my best to answer them.